That's What She Said!
by Locketful o' Heartache
Summary: The gang has a "That's What She Said" holiday at school, getting as many That's What She Said! jokes in as possible. i.e.: "Don't touch that!" "Take your hand out of there!" "Oh not again!" All human, short funny story. Review plz! Disclaimer: No.


**Ya…Random idea I got while either sleeping, or washing the dishes. Can't remember which lolz =P**

**Like it, don't like it, whatever, hopefully you can check out my other stories and poems, and also two of my besties' accounts, Tomboy Amy and lionlambluv. They are absolutely amazing and if you could check that stuff out that would be great =D**

**Disclaimer: No.**

**That's What She Said!**

**Chapter 1: Death to Alice**

**Bella's POV**

"Bella bella bella bella bella bella bella bella…"

"I swear on my Ipod that I will kill you Mary Alice Brandon," I mumbled sleepily. I peeked through my covers to see her with a cheeky grin on her elfish face.

She likes to be called Alice and she was pixielike, thin in the extreme, with small features. She's got cropped short, deep black hair that pointed in every direction. Alice is the craziest, most hyperactive person you will ever meet. She's annoying sometimes, yet she's one of my best friends.

Our interests were completely different; she liked shopping, fashion, and gossip, whereas I liked reading, sweats, and didn't care at all about the latest "news," which basically consisted of who's dating who, who broke up with who, and who said what to who.

And that brings me to why I am as hard to get up today as a hibernating bear, but now that I am up, I'm just one big, irritated grizzly bear. Yep, nothing better than an irritated grizzly. **(;D) **But today is going to be terrible and undoubtedly hilarious, with some of that hilarity at my expense.

My gang of friends has an annual "That's What She Said!" day, and that happens to be today. With my friends, this day can get a little out of hand. Mostly because some of us like to take things to a higher, more disturbing level, –cough Emmett cough.- On normal days, most people hear maybe one "That's What She Said!" joke, but on days like today, we like to host multiple "That's What She Said" _conversations._

We, meaning Edward, my boyfriend, Rosalie, my other best friend and Emmett's girlfriend, Jasper, Rose's brother and Alice's boyfriend, and finally Emmett. He's the real character of the group. He's Rose's boyfriend, and he is so immature you'd think he was an eight year old instead of an eighteen year old. We're all a little immature, that's why we're such good friends, but Emmett really takes the cake with immaturity.

Well, on this day, we like to see how many "That's What She Said" conversations we can get into, and usually no matter what type of discussion we're in, one of us can always turn it into one of those infamous "That's What She Said" jokes.

As I was contemplating which ways I could try to get out of participating in this, Alice started to drag me out of my bed. She threw the covers off of me and when she started to pull my ankles, I knew that any plans I had to get out of today were futile.

"Come on Bellsie, time to get up! I have to get you ready for our awesometastic day!" she cheered. I snorted.

""Awesometastic?" Really Alice?" she rolled her eyes.

"Really Bells. Now come on! You need to get your lazy ass out of bed because I sure as hell can't do it!" Alice huffed while I giggled.

"It's because you're too small and short! You're basically a midget you know," I noted. She "hmphed."

"I'm not short I'm fun sized!" she chanted. She got an "Idea!" look and ran over to my closet. She pulled out her graphic T-shirt that she left here at a previous sleepover with the saying, "I'm not short I'm fun sized" on it. "I'll wear this today!" Alice exclaimed and smiled. I shook my head with a grin and headed off to my bathroom but stopped short when I realized something.

"Alice?" I asked sweetly. She turned to me.

"Yes Bella?" she inquired innocently. Too innocently. I narrowed my eyes.

"How did you get into my house? Renée and Charlie aren't here, and I was asleep." It's true, my parents were in Hawaii taking a short vacation to somewhere that _doesn't _rain and or snow almost constantly. Lucky bastards… But they do deserve it, they work so hard. Renée works as a waitress at the diner and Charlie was the Chief of Police of Forks.

Alice shifted nervously from foot to foot.

"Well… You remember that time you thought you lost your key?" she reminded quietly. I raised an eyebrow.

"'Thought?'"

"Umm yeah… well I kind of took it and made a copy…" Ali trailed off looking sheepish. I rolled my eyes, then another thing occurred to me.

"I've "lost" that key a couple of times. How many copies did you make Alice?" I asked, making quotes around "lost". She ducked her head.

"Weeell…I sort of lost a lot of those copies at school…"

"WHAT?! At _school?! _Well at least nobody knows what they're for." Alice looked really guilty now. I groaned.

"Alice?! What did you do?" I interrogated.

"Umm, I uh, I sort of…" she trailed off and whispered the last part while turning around. "Labeled them with your address…" she took a glance at my expression and stumbled backwards. My eyes were narrowed so much now that I almost couldn't see.

"Alice," I started menacingly. She gulped.

"Yeah?"

"When I get out of that shower, and if you're still here, I-" she cut me off by running out my door.

"Bye Bella! See you at school!" I watched her hop into her canary yellow 911 Porsche Turbo. I shook my head and started off to my shower again, grumbling all the way.

**xoxo**

**Sooo….Yeah, just basically introduction right there, next chapter she'll be at school, and that's where the real fun starts ;D**

**Yes I know I should NOT be posting ANOTHER story, but I can't help it! **whiny voice** lol, I need to write! Writing for the same story for a long time is really hard for me! But whichever story is last updated, I will most likely update that one next, and in this case it's Prank Calls. The chapter for that one is going to be a lot longer than the others, I just couldn't stop writing and couldn't find a good place to break it off =P**

**So yeah…Give me feedback and I'll give you chapters! =D**

**Love,**

**Locketful o' Heartache**

**REVIEW PLZ! =D**


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